Monday, October 27, 2008
Set aside that, throughout the busy terms, I have experienced a lot of feelings that emanate from within my heart- disappointed? Dissatisfied? Oh yes, i will never satisfied with my results. Why? Perhaps you might ask, because I didn’t even do my best and I am quite disappointed by my own attitude and achievement. Depressed? dismayed? What else? appalled?? because of the tragic news I received from my sister that one of my former primary teachers had passed away? yes, the moment I knew it, I was like “what the hell?” I couldn’t believe my ears. My heart cried out in silence. She was one of my favorite teachers and she even took care of me during the primary school trip when I got sick. Not only that, her daughter needed a large amount of money for her heart surgery and her son…okay… shan’t to elaborate further. That night I didn’t get any sleep at all, because all the memories that I had with my teacher came to haunt me. I knew I have to get over this somehow. I asked myself, what can I do? But then again, if I have cherished these precious moments, what have I to fear?
真是天意弄人啊！
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Life for the past few weeks had been study study study study. I think I gonna fall sick soon, this few days never sleep properly, never eat properly, never drink enough water. Think fatigue is catching up on me. Just hope that I can rest well enough this weekends. I am totally exhausted. Exams are over which means now I will have to bear with my terrible results (I mean it was totally disastrous). Darn it! How the heck does this happen to me again? Before exam, I resolved to study accordingly to my timetable. Now how the hell am I going to explain my failure to do so even after so many times I have gone through the same problem… last minute studies? You are killing yourself! You are ruining your own future! And now what’s the use of feeling guilty?! Nasi er, sudah jadi bubur lor.
Set aside that, throughout the busy terms, I have experienced a lot of feelings that emanate from within my heart- disappointed? Dissatisfied? Oh yes, i will never satisfied with my results. Why? Perhaps you might ask, because I didn’t even do my best and I am quite disappointed by my own attitude and achievement. Depressed? dismayed? What else? appalled?? because of the tragic news I received from my sister that one of my former primary teachers had passed away? yes, the moment I knew it, I was like “what the hell?” I couldn’t believe my ears. My heart cried out in silence. She was one of my favorite teachers and she even took care of me during the primary school trip when I got sick. Not only that, her daughter needed a large amount of money for her heart surgery and her son…okay… shan’t to elaborate further. That night I didn’t get any sleep at all, because all the memories that I had with my teacher came to haunt me. I knew I have to get over this somehow. I asked myself, what can I do? But then again, if I have cherished these precious moments, what have I to fear?
真是天意弄人啊！
I still remember my dream. The one and only one. _________________________________________________