Friday, July 30, 2010
|11:35|
Time- 3.05 am.The rain spattered the windscreen relentlessly. I could see no more than a watery gloom as I strained forward over the steering wheel to see the road ahead. Although the wipers flapped valiantly, they were fighting a losing battle, as the rain drove harder and harder. My foot eased off the accelerator, the headlights struggled to light up the pitch-black, deserted road.My eyes half-closed, narrowed to slits as they adjusted themselves to the strain of trying to see once more, and then relaxed, as they made out familiar shaped in the dim light. There wasn't any car on the road, though you can see one or two passing by occasionally, they had some kind of surreal outline as though they wasn't really real.
In that circumstances, it was indeed possible for one to have slept over. Though I spun the faithful wheel gingerly, the grogginess and sleepiness of that wee hours of the morning made it doubly hard for me to drive. It was a whole new experience? I wouldn't say so. I was to give my father a lift to his friend's house. After my father descended from the car, I was left alone but darkness and desolateness of the road as companion. Grogginess shrouded me, I was not even sure of what I saw.
With a shiver of fear as imagination ran wild in my mind, the story of a typical road hair-raising story came out of my mind. Desolate? deserted? I couldn't be sure of that anymore, as so frantically I looked up at the rear-view mirror. "What the...?! Impossible!" my heart leaped. And so panicky I turned over to look at the backseats, but only to be greeted by-
Oh, it was...
you know it.
only my imagination.
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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|00:17|
It baffles me no end how I can always hear my friends complain and grumble on how fast they have to start getting their ass off to work after a long holidays. A small break even, they are reluctant to be pulled down by the string of reality. True, resting is paramount in order to embark on a longer journey. But work can indeed be pleasurable and enjoyable too. I am enjoying what I am studying and sometimes I feel as though I am addicted.
An addiction that is.
I am lazy.
I am not that bright.
and I am slow.
But I enjoy and indulge in what I am doing.
I love my life.
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Thursday, July 29, 2010
|20:41|
The road was crammed full of people and cars where parents were waited patiently, at this hour of the afternoon. The road seemed to be inaccessible at this moment, with slow-moving vehicles and all, buses stopping here and there, but it made the people moved at a faster pace eager to go home.
Staring through at the assembly ground which we had to assemble every morning, chains of memories were being sparked off my mind. The hall, though small, we had a great form 4 year studying in that small compartment of the hall. That was when I learned lots of skills, including pingpong.
There, the biology laboratory where most of us were doing our own stuffs instead of paying attention to the teachers, as usual, it was like a culture. LOL.
There where the physics laboratory lies, I vividly remember, we were group of enthusiastic students, giving our 100% in class and completed every homework given by the teacher. It was enjoyable, fun, and effective!
The canteen was never change, with its quite dirty food but with such familiarities!
There, the road down to the small shortcut road on which I always walked home. It reminds me of returning home from school every other day. Those were the days...
Everything is still the same, just time as though has been fast-forwarded, that was last year.
My little sister from St.david high school jumped into the car after a short 5-minute wait, I pressed down the accelerator and left. On the way to the hawker to have our lunch, I was dreamily lost in thought, I knew only one thing-
St. David High is such a great school that I never ever regret going. I feel proud and if there were to be a person to approach me at that moment, I had nothing to reply except-
Hey, I had been studying in St.David High for 5 years, and I am a true St.davidian. I am always a st.Davidian.
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Wednesday, July 28, 2010
|21:39|
There is always a main priority that must be met in whatever things I do. I believe everyone does it too. Hmm...okay maybe not.
At the age of 18, only did I realize that I place fun, enjoyment, and laughter above all, everything else. I can't believe it. Everything that I do must be of compatible interest to me and even my work, my goal, the subject that I am studying, must be of what I am interested in. So if anything ceases to be an enjoyment, I simply quit.
But there is a irony at the same time when I say this, because I seem to be very enthusiastic and passionate in everything I do. LOL.
I believe I have a smorgasbord of interest in many aspects. Yes, that's it. The desire to learn something new, and the desperation to improve what I've learnt. Because from there, I believe I can see myself from many perspective. Not just from one aspect. Not just academically active.
But as I took out the dust-collecting piece of my precious which I have long not touched and on which I strummed and plucked, so instinctively I placed it back down, I couldn't help but shook my head and sighed then. The melodious, metallic sounds that so touch the heart was gone. It was disappointment.
And then I realise, hey I need to hone my guitar skill. But the time is no longer there.
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These few days were awesome! Totally relaxed my mind and soul. I feel quite sorry though, for because of my own personal desperation and selfish needs, I had a mass intake of calories and saturated fats without taking good care of it. Input without an output. This is long term self-killing, as I always say. Oh shit, now that I mention it, when exactly was the last time I exercise?
I hope my little stomach can still take it. Oh well, this might as well be a reminder, perhaps it's time to pay a visit to the gym and pool to burn.
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Tuesday, July 27, 2010
|23:47|
Wait, I have things to say, don't I?
I am waiting for a time to come, as simple as that, waiting for time, a chance, an opportunity.
So whilst I am at it, let me furnish myself with everything that I need, and maybe, some courage too? And confidence, I need a bunch to keep things going, please don't do things that would diminish my self-confidence. You get what I mean.
The impending battle is brewing, I could sense it right away. But alas! Time is running out, I need to get myself prepared.
Play is over, done. Work is next.
They will be going back tomorrow. So ironically, tomorrow is the day I will start mugging. =)
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I am waiting for a time to come, as simple as that, waiting for time, a chance, an opportunity. But what are the chances and the probability?
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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|22:53|
I am ____
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Friday, July 23, 2010
|17:53|
Ckiat's theory no. 1
Examinations of any form is just like Toto. Like buying toto, you waste your time in studying things which people give the least attention to, such as less popular questions or a topic. Similar to toto, it's the money that you've wasted into buying a certain less popular number. And so the probability of it to get chosen is lesser. Or vice versa.
The level of emphasis is important too. The more emphasis you put into what you are studying, you will gain more, as when it comes out in the exam, you can give a more accurate answer. Toto- The more money you've spent on the number, the higher is the gain.
The more you study (the more numbers you buy then), the higher the probability of your success...
=)
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Saturday, July 17, 2010
|14:55|
I have had enough fun manipulating the results of my tests/quizes. Draw a sin graph, and you'd get what I mean.
Obviously, nobody truly undertands me. To clarify, I am one who don't really study at all everyday. Ask my dormmates and you will know. I especially dislike the idea of doing homework/assignments, because that's killing time. No need for useless, minute and unimportant stuff to blur my vision.
Apart from that, I am definitely one who pay no attention during lectures/tutorials, and most of the time, much prefer to get tuned out from the happenings of the world and do my own work quietly. So the far end corner of the class is my favourite spot. Because when nobody notices me, my mind runs free and I could achieve my top form. Maybe you could say I am passive. Yea. Maybe.
I am not one of those people who are fond of doing discussion or group studying too, there are a couple of reasons why I won't do so, but I won't go on to that. Hey and don't get me wrong here too, I ain't no exceptionally excellent.
So when I say I don't know about a subject or chapter for that matter, I really mean I have no idea at all, not because of that I like to keep things to myself, you could say I am not prepared. But that also depends, when I wanna get myself clear and up-to-date, I will do so.
These people often look at my results with scepticism. They have long forgotten about my presence, but now they are coerced to face my existence.
I can't blame them, I can't. I've had enough of it already.
***
My past were burried the moment I was gazing up at her. I shoved aside all stumbling blocks, and the path that were trembling before are now clear. There, I felt a movement. It was a new breath of life.
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Friday, July 16, 2010
|23:48|
It was a mirrored reflection of a current so strong...
when I was gazing up at her,
And when both our eyes coincidentally met.
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Thursday, July 15, 2010
|11:37|
Yesterday was a waste. To be exact, the subsequent three days before today. I've done nothing at all-literally. And now I am reminded that next week there will be ups test, so I guess, I will just start buckling down, henceforth?
... and spend less time thinking and pondering over the same pointless thing and let my life revolve around the realm of imagination. Why? Why let myself fret and reiterate over something that would never happen? I need to get myself out of all these.
Emotionally troubling matter, that is.
I don't wanna live a life of regrets, trust me. That feeling which lingers on from the time when you have made the wrong decision and then somewhere down the road, you'd realise that all you'd ever gained is nothing but sheer waste of time . This is preposterous, in my opinion
.
I've already have one. Regret that will stay for as long as I couldn't bring myself towards my goal- The dream of being a foreign student and live alone far far away despite the solitude and loneliness that comes by. The excitement you get from doing epic stuffs and getting by everything by your own. But alas! It just popped and regrets quickly filled the void.
But it's all fated, i guess.
Do you even sense the irony of this post?
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010
|22:41|
Should I label today as a good day?
The very first activity that had us baked under the sun was the usual cocurriculum period. What made it so special wasn't particularly because of the people around. It wasn't because of the sunny weather of the day. We just had a walk through the forest, at the edge of our campus. We didn't call it trekking. Then you might ask with a raised brow. ''Huh, then what? '' Indeed, it was a dubious schedule.
Under the glaring sun of the morning, we made our way to the forest, walking through the stench of the mud. There were the huge pool of mud which brings back memories of our orientation week, ants which refuse to let go once they bite, maggots on the ground where we walked and the enticing paths which paralleled through the forestry where we trudged through. Then we entered a field of area where they call the campsite and we sat there for the better hour of the day taking in the sun, the wind and the smell of the tropics. Despite that ups test is around the corner, I found it rather relaxing and quite enjoyable.
Yet above all the picturesque scenery and the enthusiasm, what I truly looked forward to was the chemistry lecture at the end of the day.
Intriguing isn't it?
How a monotonous and dull day can turn out to be the opposite.
Perhaps when you start taking life in its pleasure form, you tend to see everything as pleasurable. And you'd realise that life, no matter how you look at it, is pleasant as it is.
Tonight is another sleepless night.
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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Tuesday, July 6, 2010
|23:43|
My life is in a messed up state now
.
Nobody understands me. Everybody thinks I am a fool. Nobody listens.
That boy who kept quiet for most of the time.... And when he finally opens his mouth, he speaks of something stupid. But even when he doesn't, he still looks equally dumb and retarded.
That's the problem with me when people start knowing me firsthandedly. My first impression towards other people is always misleading. People wont really know me until they really start knowing me from the heart.
Still, I am happy, and in fact TOO glad to know that teachers too, are categorised under the same group.
And those kids! Who do they think they are? Always a notch above from the others?! How humiliating! They must be mocking at me right now.
Nevertheless, I kept my gaze against them and shut my world from them.
I am fine, really. It's completely fathomable and logically sounds when people think i am moron. A drop of the results will mean nothing. Teacher underestimating me, so what? A true warrior doesn't account that to failure. An experienced fighter would have known this better than everyone else.
But thank God, for placing such an helpful and loyal comrades alongside me, partners that always have faith in me. Nothing can really express my feeling, except a quintessence of a thanks
I dedicate to you here.
Just give me some time, and i will show you who i am and what i am really capable of.
That I am one who can make epic things work,
And make a difference.
I still remember my dream. The one and only one.
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