They don't just pop up on my head, I mean logically I have to turn on my brain to start thinking and reasoning logically to find solution, make comparison, think of the consequences of my actions and etc etc, and all these require me to think. It leads me to think of the last time when I seriously used my brain to think of something, anything. oh no wait, I can't even remember when was that last time. I can't freaking use my brain think properly la. I'm growing mushroom on my brain in short.KOYAK!!

I suck big time and not to mention I am old and indecisive. I forget stuffs easily probably on the next minute or so; was on my second thoughts when I realize the first is already slipping out of my mind. Couldn't help to ponder whether I'm on the right track. Couldn't visualize my coming future, couldn't even see what's coming along my way in the next 10 years. Whether my decision now is right or not still remain unforeseen, unpredictable, unfathomable and totally insanely preposterous to ask.

Had a conversation with a person I don't even know, but very familiar with him coming in and out of that place. What baffles me most is a simple reflection on life. He made me realize that a few simple steps/techniques can indeed turn out to be extremely helpful, but given you do it the right way, hit the right spot and if you're willing to go around that extra miles, you could be standing in front of the mirror proudly say that you did it in the right way in the next 10 years to come. You know when I was a kid, I was very detail about everything, learning the exact right way, the correct method of doing something, anything that went out of the proper line was against my belief. I remember when I first had my calligraphy lessons when I was 10, I made myself write one single word until I had half of the book filled with it just to get the technique right. Just nowadays I realize I could no longer do so, I've reached my limitations, meaning, there're things which I couldn't bring myself to achieve. Maybe I've no talent whatsoever but who cares. At least I tried. What I'm trying to point out is at one point or another, if you are even a friend of mine, I hope you will correct me regardless of whether I'd feel offended or hurt, be it constructive comments or criticisms. I can take them all very well.